Running from the Future

As summer speeds by us and winds to a close, I look forward. I look into the future, trying to see what is written and what will happen. So much lies ahead of me, so much potential. But as I look harder, I see that my vision is blurred. I can't see what lies ahead, there is so much uncertainty. If you asked me a year ago today what lies ahead in my future, I would've been able to give you a play by play of my whole life. Now, I hardly know what I am going to have for breakfast in the morning, not to mention where I am going to go for university. These choices I make in the next 2 years will affect my ENTIRE LIFE. 

Yea, I know. Stressful right?

My whole life, summed up in these next few years. These decisions will affect everything. My job. Where I live. Who I marry. Who my friends are. My relationship with my family. Even my personality will be affected. 

So, now you see my dilemma. I was so sure, I knew what I was going to do. I was convinced of the life that I would lead. Now I'm not so sure.  My future is muddled from my view, like trying to look through dirty water to see what lies beneath. I want to be able to see what lies under me before I plunge into the icy water. What if there are sharks or eels under the water, just waiting for me to jump in? What if there is seaweed that will tangle my vision and spoil my mind. I want to see ahead. 

In short, I want to see the future.

But, we all know I can't do that. Nobody can. We all reach a point in our lives where we have to make these kind of choices, the big choices in life. I just hope I make the right one.

I believe that God will lead me to the right decision. The future is coming, whether I'm ready or not. I feel like I'm running from the future. I'm letting fear get in the way of my dreams. It's my fears vs. dreams. What I need to do is help my dreams succeed.

I have so many dreams. I want to do so many things with my life. I believe in my dreams and I will fight for my dreams. But, there is the nagging thought in my mind, what if I'm not good enough? What if I can't do it? What if I don't get into Med school? What if something goes wrong? I don't know what's going to go on in the future. I hope my dreams come true. I hope I can make a change in my life. I hope I am called to something greater than myself. 

I do more than just hope. I know.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” 
― Eleanor Roosevelt

http://fearsvsdreams.com/

Peace and Love

-C